Damn, it’s been about four years now, and I still can’t go one day without thinking about you for hours, and hours. Everyday, I can’t seem to be fully alright without you roaming through my heart. You were the true definition of a Father. You weren’t always there when I needed you, but you were always there. You were one mean son of a bitch, and even a cruel bastard at that, but my love for you grew each and everyday I was alive. I miss Christmas. I miss Thanksgiving. I miss birthday’s. All the days you made it worthwhile. Now that you’re gone, I have no mindset to even enjoy even 5 minutes of those holidays. I miss you, dad.

It’s been almost a year, and I always have these slips where I say, “Let me call grandpa.” But then, reality has to gently pull me back. Sometimes, I beat myself up for not always calling when I should. But, I know you forgave me. Everytime you called, you’d always say, “I know you’re busy, but busy isn’t a vocabulary word when it comes to your old pops.” I can still ear your voice calling me. Your loud voice, at that. “KYLEEE!” I can never ease it out of my mind. Happy Birthday, James. I miss you, Grandpa.